Trauma

The way trauma manifests in our body is something I take very seriously. It’s one of the first aspects of health I look at when many of you come to see me for the first time. How has that trauma, that specific moment in time, found its way into your body and had long term ramifications for physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health.

Some of you will remember a number of years ago Daniel had a significant trauma to his head. We could have lost him. If there is one thing we don’t do is take our time together for granted.

The trauma of the accident; the misdiagnosis and lack of medical care that ensued; and the disagreements in our household until finally the right tests were taken and the true nature of the head injury was understood.

The trauma of seeing the damage to the skull, the millimetres away from paralysis or death, and that look of disbelief from the doctors that Daniel could still walk and talk despite the injury.

The trauma of the “what ifs” as it was so easily overlooked and then the emergency craniotomy and recovery that was required.

Bless that neurosurgeon’s hands and what he could do for Daniel that I could not.

So over the years that trauma has remained but in very minor and subtle ways. The memory would instigate a cringe from Daniel but the trauma, most of you would not know, was visibly manifest in his beard. He just could not bear, after the incident and surgery, to bring a razor near his face.

Those of you that knew my clean shaven Daniel, there was no one like him. His smile, his dimples, that light in his face…

That beard was like a veil to the trauma. It was, for me, as though it was hiding something that I longed for him to have resolved.

But it was a small thing, and one I stopped focusing on because as long as he is here, should I really be concerned about some (prickly) facial hair?

God truly has a sense of humour. We left a place in Greece a few weeks back to go to Thessaloniki, close to the Holy Mountain (Mt Athos) that I have written about. Daniel decided that he should take the complimentary pack with toothbrush as he had misplaced a couple along the way.

Whilst in Livrochio, Daniel’s beard had grown significantly. He realised that he had left his clippers and toothbrush where he had ironically picked up the toothbrush pack.

I suggested we buy another pair of clippers but when you have been away for as long as we have, purchasing clippers doesn’t seem important in the scheme of things, so Daniel disagreed.

At least we still had the toothbrush we packed! No such luck! It turned out to be a razor instead, something Daniel has had no use for, for many years. We found it ironic that the very place Daniel left his clippers, he had brought with him instead, a razor!

This trip has been a blessing in so many ways and we have had moments of true peace and reflection.

One morning, unbeknownst to us, Daniel picked up that razor and shaved away the remnants of the trauma, that veil.

His face is shining again, dimples visible and there is a lightness to him that I haven’t seen in a very long time.

It made me think about our own personal traumas, the veils we wear and what we may be able to do to help wash away the fear, the memory and the pain… I know it will look different for us all, but it’s helpful to think about what you can do to lift that veil and find some sort of peace from trauma, no matter how big or small.